To the Woman and Daughter I served coffee to this morning:

 When you walked into the café, my heart ached for you.
 My chest got hot.
 I had to brace myself to serve you because I could see the pain in your eyes.

Please understand I was not afraid to see you or your pain.
I just could relate and so badly want more for you.

 I saw all of the classic signs.
Your swollen glands.
The lanugo on your face.
Your hollow eyes.
Your order of a large black coffee…to fill your empty stomach with minimal calories to ease the anxiety inside.

Something rose up inside of me.
A Holy cry for you to know your worth.
Your value.
Your beauty.

 I don’t pity you.
 I promise to fight for you through prayer.

I must admit, I so badly wanted it to be socially acceptable for me, as your barista, to tell you there’s hope. To slip you a card of a place that could help you. To tell you that I cared. Instead, I gave you coffee and engaged in small talk.

Inwardly, I was praying for you.
I was praying that as I talked to you and gave you free coffee, it would be a small way to tell you that
you are worthy of good.

You deserve good.
You deserve relationships.

This bondage is taking it all from you.
I know the loneliness it engulfs you with in return.

The inner hell you are experiencing doesn’t have to reign.
I promise.

I’m learning there’s hope and a Healer.
You have a Heavenly Father who is unashamed to call you His Daughter.
He is enthralled by your beauty.
He delights in you.
He sees your pain, and He cries the tears you are too numb to cry.
He has a radiant future in store for you.

I imagine all you can see now is the person the prison tells you are.
You are hearing that you are worthless.
You will never have life. True life.
It tells you you deserve this suffering.

I could see the brokenness in your eyes….
Your Father can work with those broken pieces.

I’m learning it’s so hard to trust Him with those pieces.
It’s so hard when you have been hurt. It’s so hard. BUT


He is good.


He is safe.

He loves you.
Period.
He loves you while you have your head in the toilet.
He loves you when you are stuffing yourself with food.
He loves you when you are ignoring your growling stomach.
He loves you while you are frantically running from your pain.

He is not afraid of your pain.
He is the Redeemer.
And He longs to be your Redeemer.

I’m writing this to promise you
I won’t go back.
I can’t.
There’s hope to spread.

If we don't fight or know the One that fights for us, then it’s so easy to fall back into the pain.

I prayed for you my whole way home.
Then, I got home and saw myself in my mirror
and started to hate what I saw.

Then I remembered you.
Your life changed another life today...mine.

You inspired me.

I remembered the Truth I know.

I remembered there’s a hurting world aching to know the Healer 
And There’s a loving Healer aching to be known as the Father.


I’ll stand with you and believe for you.
Even though I do not know you, I know you are a beautiful daughter.

With love, respect and deep gratitude,
Amaris